I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
