Christians are straight up FREAKS
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
