Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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