Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We're too hungover to prance.
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