I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
