you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
