I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We are two peas in an std pod
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
