She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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