Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
