Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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