Dual....:-)
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
