what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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