just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
that may or may not have been my penis.
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