So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
