in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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