Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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