This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
