Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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