as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
