i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
