not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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