Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
