I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
