matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
