Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
