I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
