I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
