do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
