I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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