Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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