my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
