I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
