I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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