so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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