please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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