i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
