Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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