Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I need moral support for this bender
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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