Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
