Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
