so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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