Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
