So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
