I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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