I hope mine doesn't look like that
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
