I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
