Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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