please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
