Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
