But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
