I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
