There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
