Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have fence marks all over my body
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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